haix.. sad news so mi but maybe it doesn't even affect any1 living on tis earth... after 10 days of consideration and thinking the situation at every angle that i can think of... maybe staying single is still the best way to solve it...
not that i dun wan to commit myself in...
not that i dun like her anymore...
not that i dun hav the courage to go into another relationship...
the most important reason is that i can see that SHE DON'T LIKE MI AT ALL.
since the start it was a one sided thingy and nth was said, nth was promised... we didn't even have each other's hp no.. wat else can i wish for??? nth la... cos i noe the most that we did was to send a friendster message to each other...
regarding the TAGS on ur blog... it was the onli way i can think of to chat wif her... it was the onli way i can to know wat happened to her... it was the onli way i can to know how is she doin today... without her blog its like we can never chat wif each other, never have a chance to know more abt each other... there's no other ways to how i can chat wif her...
after thinking for teh past 10 days... considering all the pros and cons that i can think of... weighting wat is important and wat is urgently on hand that i must settle... all the problems and situation that we may meet in the future if we get tgt... all the things ba... but watever the outcome of my thinking was... i onli made tis decision because i noe SHE DOES NOT LIKE MI... maybe u can say that we onli seen each other for 10 days and its noemal for her not to feel anything but then i still think i shall not drag another ppl into wat maybe become another failure... i know that i have always been as a failure in life...
until nw i still cannot think of anything that i can work as in future... with my 'O' level cert i think i can do nothing... nth much ba... maybe something that no1 wants to work de then i can get the job lo... starting a relationship will surely increase my expenses... let's not say paying for ur partner... jus take bus go out then send her home then go home... all this are extra cost... ppl who dunno my situation may think that i am veri "CAT"... but its the environment ard mi that train mi up to be like this... since i was born, i never bought a shirt or pants for myself... all the clothings i have is taken from some rich ppl who dun wan them anymore... i have never used any facial products never buy any products to repair my damaged hair... i am a person who was train not to spend a single cent except on food... sometimes i will even walk home from jurong east central which is like 1/2 HRS walk... but jus to save the 65cents...
watever ppl say mi i dun care... cos i noe that 1 day every1 will grow old... 1 day every1 will look ugly... 1 day every1 will die... as long as my family members are happy then i'm fine...
fulfilling some1 else's wish can sometimes be happier than fulfillin ur own wish cos u noe u made some1 happy today... maybe i think too much and say too much... but i jus wan to say that i dun have the energy and ability to fall in love with another person again... its reallli realli reallli tiring... i have gt too many things to carry on my shoulder... its more than wat i can handle...
some may ask mi then why still find a GF?? to mi lookin for a GF is like a mental support piler... cos when u have some1 who u love to talk to and when she's willing to talk to u... share ur problems... feel for u... she will always be a mental support to mi... cos i noe that no matter wat happens i still have some1 that i can find to talk... some1 who will lend mi a shoulder to lend on when i need... some1 to share my happiness/saddness with mi no matter wat happens... but how many ppl out thr can realli, confidently say that their partner will not leave them someday sometimes in the future??? how sure r u?? 100%?? 80%?? 50%?? 30%?? or onli 1%??
no1 can predict wat's goin to happen the veri next moment... we all dunno how we wil become in future... who knows maybe singapore suffer from a terrible EARTHQUAKE.. all high rise falls and half of singpaore population are gone... dun say it won't happen here... nth on this world is fix... like i always says CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT IS CHANGE... CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT WILL NOT CHANGE IN TIS EVER CHANGING WORLD...
sometimes even when u put in all ur effort, it may not yield any result... dun carry so much hopes on human... they are the most unpredictable animal on planet... jus do watever u think is correct and dun regret... today i made a decision that i may regret in the future... but if i ever get a chance to tell her i may reconsider if i tell her... that's if i ever get a chance la... for nw... let's jus hope that we can be frens and maybe things will then change from thr...
nite ppl... i'm drain out... need to rest le... recently getting tired veri easily and always not enuff rest ba... i go orh orh le... take care ppl... oh if carmen gt read tis blog then i hope u will keep the sercet between u and mi and miss ye... dun let the news out... thx...