yoz ppl, back to update lo.. tml onwards i will start my outfield instructor life again.. i will be swapping with a of my buddies and will be taking charge of trainees again.. a bit sad cos cannot realli slack le.. must work le.. but still ok la.. work is jus work.. surely still can slack de..
anyway today was doin nth much in camp.. jus planning and helping doin the cse opening stuff with my 2 other frens.. prepare everything and getting everything ready.. so that we dun need to rush on next monday... some more thurs and fri are OFF day.. so cannot do anything.. so beta prepare earlier and get things done before we get scoldings..
haix.. was thinking quite alot.. i miss alot alot of things.. so many gd memories i have with mi.. so many ppl walked in and out of my life for the past 21 yrs.. so many.. but how many realli know mi??? how many realli treat mi as brother.. how many realli helped when i have trouble??
i miss.. i miss so so so many things.. i miss:
- the carefree life when i was in primary sch.
- the happy time when i was in sec sch.
- the endless fun i had while in upper sec.
- the hack care attitude i can have even after bashing some1 up in sec sch.
- the happiness my frens gave mi.
- the boldness of scolding my manager and walk out of workplace quitting the job.
so many... so many... whr is the old self mi?? whr has it gone to?? why do i feel so uneasy abt so many things nw??? why do i care how others feel nw?? why do i think for others before myself?? why i give others more than wat others give mi?? why am i such a failure in studies?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i am happy nw?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i wan a change in my life?? why didn't any1 care?? why do i have to start worrying abt how to survive on tis heartless world at such a young age??
how much i wish i can go back to the time when i onli have to worry wat i wan to play next.. no worries abt life.. no worries abt food.. no worries abt money.. no worries abt others feeling.. no worries abt anything except wat to play next.. everyday fun.. everyday rotting.. everyday doin nth.. its like when we are still a baby.. do u have to worry abt anything?? NO!!! ur parents will provide u with everything.. how many ppl out there are worse than mi?? alot more.. i noe.. but when must tis world be so heartless.. why ppl jus cannot help each other out when we get into trouble?? do u realli feel gd when u c some1 getting into trouble??
i miss everything in the past.. i miss them.. watever i do nw will not bring mi back to the past.. so i shld plan wat to do next and get myself a gd job.. i will not let others look down on mi anymore.. i will not let them have the chance.. i may not be the best person out there but i'm sure i will not be a failure anymore..
thinking back i oso nv realli take things seriously.. maybe its time to wake up my idea and get things done.. give my dad a gd life in the future.. i will not let him suffer again..
ppl out thr.. even if ur parents let u down.. u still have to do ur job to get them to live under a roof and get them a living.. cos no matter wat happened.. they still feed u till u grow up.. u think u will be sitting down here reaeding my blog if they never give u food since u are young?? u think u noe how to survive since u are born ar?? its ur parents who spent time taking care of u.. so watever they do.. we still owe them too much.. without them we will not be sitting here.. think abt wat i said ba..
every nite i hope u ppl out thr can jus lay down on ur bed.. spend abt 15 mins thinking thru wat u did right and wat u did wrong.. wat u could have done to make every1 else life beside u happier.. maybe tis way then u will improve.. nitexx ppl.. dun say wait wait wait.. or no time no time no time.. dun wait till everything is too late.. ppl are gone then u wan to say then u wan to do.. say and do the things u wan when they are still alive..