JuS 4 u

depressed

2009-07-01T13:45:00.002+08:00

wat is life all abt?? making fun of ppl?? making us happy at tis moment and sad at the next?? why must we go thru all this?? i dunno... i'm confused... i jus hope that i can fly off to another world to stay and dun look into watever problems i have nw...

back in blogging...

2009-06-20T14:41:00.002+08:00

ok... guess if u are still reading my blog in the past, u would have thought that i may evaporated from tis world... lols... so long since i last blogged... ya... but ya... nth much to read... actually we dun have to read others blog to noe wat others are doin right nw... if we are realli concerned abt the others, we are always jus a sms away from each other...

so high tech nw... gt sms, msn, e-mail... everything and anything u can think of oso can use to communicate... ya... today i'm jus bored... finally my tis 10 wks of studies is over... jus finished my exam ytd and nw its a long 3 wks break for us to rest and then another stressful 10 wks of studying again... lols... though life have not been easy in shatec since i started sch on 6th april... it was more than wat i expected... i thought everyday we would jus go to sch and cook and cook and cook... but no lo... gt alot other things to learn de lo... haha... i have been enjoying it...

my life still wa boring as it is 10 yrs ago... everyday go sch, come home, work, exercise... 4 things that i have been doing since i was 10 yrs old... actually i wan a change in my life... like wat my msn nick says...
contention is happiness... dun ask for wat others can do for u, but wat u can do for the others...

kkz... actually b4 tis post i took time off to write a few posts but everytime after i finish writing... i will jus delete it... is there any1 who cares to even read and think?? i dun think so... everytime i blog means its another sad moment for mi... why do i have to be such a nice fren, a nice guy, a nice brother... life isn't fair to any1 and it will never be... accept the fact and face the truth...

moer than words..

2009-05-03T13:40:00.001+08:00

BF's SHOULD DO.
☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her
☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

wat's life...

2008-12-06T22:25:00.002+08:00

halo ppl... dam dam long time i have not update or write anything le... i dun have much things to update...everything that is happening to mi nw is veri veri boring...everyday go back to camp...do the same thing...

sometimes realli do things till veri sian...look into my phonebook...finding a person who i can chat with...guess wat happen next...i found NONE...no 1... not even 1 person...actually i oso dunno wat i wan sometimes...

at times i think that money is the most impt thing in life...but sometimes i think that having some1 beside mi seems more impt...i guess i have an ans nw...i need some1...i need some1 who is willing to acc mi thru...some1 willing to forget abt my past...some1 willing to face the problems tgt with mi...who will the person be??? in tis world nw... i dun have high hopes...

ppl are betraying another person's trust so easily...forget abt how gd ppl treat them...how to have faith in ppl??? how to trust some1??? times is realli needed to build the trust between human...

2008-11-08T12:04:00.002+08:00

Do u believe that every1 living on tis earth is alone.. wat i mean is that every1 come onto tis world alone from ur mum's womb.. then u grow up alone..

even if u have frens, u have dears, u have buddies, so wat?? dun tell mi u dun feel lonely at all since the day u are born.. but different ppl have different ways of overcoming tis loneliness..

some ppl may go shop.. some may go pubbing/clubbing.. some may stick to their dears.. some may jus get their heads down into gaming.. i dunno wat u will do to overcome tis loneliness.. but wat i wan to say is no matter how crowded ur surrounding may be.. there's surely a place deep in ur heart where u will feel loneliness sometimes somewhere..

ppl always like to say that they will not be able to survive if they lose something/some1 in their life.. i have nv believe in tis sentence cos i noe no matter wat happen, that person will still need to carry on his/her daily work.. they may be sad, they may be worried, they may not be able to concentrate at work, but after 1yr or 2.. they will get used to their new life and maybe even forget u.. so dun think that u r that impt.. without u they will still live on happily..

watever is it.. i hope all people out there will have a happy future in front of them.. gd luk ppl.. take care..

2008-10-31T19:51:00.002+08:00

love is like a cup of drink...
1 person drinking it will taste BITTER....
2 person drinking it will taste SWEET....
but 3 person sharing it will taste SOUR...

tis pharse comes from a show... chn 8 drama... jus wan u guys to know its never gd to be 3rd party in relationship and break up others... hope every1 in tis world will find some1 suitable for them and happily be tgt... treasure ppl... dun regret...

thinking back...

2008-10-29T00:15:00.002+08:00

hi ppl... i'm actually super super dam free since 7th oct... and that is actually y i didn't post anything.. cos everyday's life was goin back to camp to slp... go home @ 6pm... then work till morning.. and back to camp to slp... super sian and boring... realli realli no life..

then jus when i was working.. suddenly saw my sec sch fren signed in his msn... saw his pic and suddenly realised how long we have not seen each other... how long have i been hiding in my own world.. how long have i not meet up with sec sch frens... my poly frens?? my bmtc frens?? i guess every i have not step into town area for yrs!!! and oso not watch a movie into SG cinema for YRS!!! lols...

in SG, whenever i think abt goin out i will think thrice... even the transport fee can be as expensive as $6... wat the!! nw bus fee is $0.72 per trip and that is like the cheapest liao...anything further than 3.2km is more ex... ppl like mi will never afford to enjoy life in SG!!!! i made a promise to myself... jus earn enuff money and in future rent out the hse that i have and go m'sia to enjoy life... jus find some village and stay there to enjoy my life...

anyway was thinking back... suddenly alot alot of my sec sch event went thru my mind... since the 1st day of sch... when i 1st walked into the sch, i happened to c my primary sch fren and so "zhun" that we are goin to be in the same class... and my wonderful sec sch life started off since then... i will never ever forget how we get ourselves into trouble, fighting, soccer, playing hide and seek, volleyball, goin for lunch with our favourite teacher, skipping lesson/sch, make teacehers angry till she & he dun wan come to teach us... LOLS!!! since sec 3 i have not open my science textbk.. cos i dun even have a teacher since sec 3 till i was sec 5... lols... dunno how i manage to pass my science... haha... but still manage to get C6... lousy la but beta than failing... won't forget that my D&T (design & technology) teacher MRS KHOO... she give birth to 3 babies within the 5 yrs... i'm sad for her though... cos at that time they giving birth to more babies still not out yet... so she nv gt the bouns from government.. LOLS!!! she gt 4 children in total.. 2 gals 2 boys.. cute children...

we always make teachers angry but by the end of the day i guess they have more happy times spent with us than with other classes... when they go other classes i dun c the smile that we bring to their faces... they are always so strict and so stressed.. but whenever they come our class.. they will always have tis smile on their face or they will pull their black long face... its surely either a happy day or an angry day for them... lols... though most of the time they are angry... but after sch time... when we sit down for lunch/tea break.. when we chat with them then they will realised that actually we are not the bad students like we are during lesson...

jus a lot of wonderful memoeries flashes in my mind.. how many times police came to my sch cos of us... lols... but we always dun get into trouble... cos all the teacher will help us out... haha... i wan to say a big THANK YOU to my sec sch teachers... they realli let mi and my class enjoyed our sec sch life... if i can go back in time i will still make the same decesion to study in NA ( normal adce) and not express... cos my class jus rocks... i will never ever forget the 5 happiest yrs in my life...

ok... dun talk le.. take care ppl.. niteZZ!!!! though i not slping but u ppl betea get more rest... take care of ur our health...

wat do i wan??

2008-10-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

hi all readers out there.. so long i haven been blogging.. dunno how to start and oso dunno wan write wat.. everytime i type alot alot but in the end i still pressed the "X" on the top right of the screen.. so i jus kept thinking of alot of some simple life issue but i'm hardly able to find answer to the questions..

ummm... actually i envy ppl who gt their loved ones beside them.. i have been thinking if getting rich but spending the money alone when i'm old was a choice of mine.. or i can give up my million dollar dream and jus quietly spend the rest of my life with some1 who i loved??

it has always been my dream to earn my 1st million dollar.. but right nw at this moment i guess i shld reconsider wat i realli wan in life.. spending the rest of my life slping on a golden bed or spending my rest of my life with some1 i loved peacefully.. i guess when the right person comes along my life, i will choose the 2nd choice.. but then after so many betray in relationships that i come across i realli dunno if i still have confident to realli commit myself again..

i hate ppl who dun care abt their loved 1s.. i dislike ppl who jus take things for granted as if every1 owes them a living.. i jus envy why they can enjoy their life like that and yet ppl like us have to suffer alone and no 1 even bother to ask..

u think i like to work like dog day in day out??
u think i like to stay up late in the night everyday to work??
u think i like to spend my wkend at home working??
u think i dun wan to spend time goin out to have fun with my frens??
u think i like to have NO life??

alot of things in life in beyond our control.. we cannot have control over all the things ard us.. wat we have to learn is to accept and learn fast to suit into the life we are in.. fittest survive in the world.. everywhr u go is the same.. no matter wht u are no matter wat job u are working in.. jus learn to be calm no matter wat happen and learn fast..

life will not always goes our way.. if our life is so smooth then i believe we have nothing much to rmb when we are old.. we will not have stories to tell to our grand children when they visit us..

watever lies in my future i will accept it and face it with no fear.. cos i noe i cannot run away from fate.. face it and solve the problems along the way.. i oso hope that ppl out there will treasure and love their loved 1s.. dun wait till when u have no more chance then u regret.. dun always think that there's tml.. u won't noe wat will happen the every next second.. heart attack?? car accident?? everything can happen.. so dun wait to do things for ur loved 1s.. a simple action can warm their heart the whole day..

wat i need nw??

2008-10-04T00:18:00.002+08:00

actually nth much to say... jus wan say i hope everything cango back in time and i will surely treasure ppl ard mi.. though we always say we will treasure them and we love thhem alot... but how much do we realli care??

how much do we realli put in the effort to think abt them and treasure them?? i believe onli we have the answer to tis question ourselves.. i hope u will not make the same mistake that i made...

treasure the ppl u loved and oso treasure the ppl who loves u.. dun nelegect any of them and onli noe it when u lost them..

2 young...

2008-09-14T00:29:00.002+08:00

halo all... long time bo update but i hope that tis post can actually help ppl out thr and hope ppl will learn something after reading tis post...

i'm jus watched the movie "2 young"... was on chn 8 jus nw.. so i thought it was jus another love story.. but i was wrong.. its is indeed a love story movie.. but then its involves alot alot teaching in it... maybe some ppl cannot c the teaching that the movie is showing but then i will strongly seriously recommand u to watch the movie again.. we shld think through wat the movie is trying to tell us..

i gt the following teaching from the movie myself after watching it..
1) think before u do anything.. dun jus think abt the fun u have nw.. think of the 后果..
2) be brave to face the 后果, dun run away from it..
3) romance does not come easily..
4) dun think that running away from the problem, things will be solved.. its won't..
5) no matter wat happened sit down and think of solution..
6) do planning b4 having babies..
7) do the punishments given and dun go onto the wrong path again..

hope u ppl out there think b4 u do anything.. dun regret onli after somethings happened.. k.. every1 oso like to have a fairytale romance but not every1 on tis world can provide u that.. life still goes on.. we still need to work for living.. alot of things are not within our control and i think everything are fated.. dun think so much abt why something happened to u.. everything happen for a reason.. u may not c the reason nw but then sooner or lata u will understand.. jus wait for the time..

take care ppl.. remember to watch the movie "2 young".. nite nite.. slp le.. rmb do some reflection b4 u slp.. its gd for urself..

no topic

2008-09-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

hi all, i'm back updating my blog.. after losing my HP to some sickening ass who sold it to some shop.. i gt myself a new HP and SIM card and start collecting ppl's HP numbers again.. but then i realised that i have lost more than 70% of my frens phone no... nw i onli have my army frens no and poly frens'...

actually how many of us realli sit down and think abt wat happened for the past day??? since morning time when u woke up, till u go to work, go for lunch, dinner with ur loved ones, back home watch tv, talk to family, bath prepare to slp.. but before u slp jus kindly take 10-15mins to think.. think abt wat have gone wrong, wat u have done wrong for the past day.. maybe sometimes we are jus too busy with life and other stuff and we didn't even realised that we unintentionally hurt some1 with the words we said.. we may not know it at the point of time cos we didn't think much but after giving urself time to think thru everything.. u may find that u actually made alot alot alot mistakes and hurt alot ppl..

alot ppl say they dun have time to sit down and think.. they are realli veri veri busy.. how busy is busy?? every1 have 24 hrs/day.. so does u and mi.. then y can i spare myself this 15 mins and can't u?? they who say they have no point i can onli think of 2 reasons to explain ur saying...

1) u dun think that the event is important.. cos if u think the event is important u will surely fork out time to do the things...
2) u simply dun care abt wat u do.. u dun care abt how others feel even if u hurt them..

dun be selfish.. if u wan to gain others respect, u shld respect others in the 1st place.. treat others the way u wan others to treat u in return.. alot ppl may think that u are a fool.. u may be taken advantage of.. but then if every1 on this earth dun wan to give and every1 jus wan to take.. how is tis world goin to be like??

jus a simlpe example.. jus u take MRT train.. jus use ur ass to think i guess we oso know wat is rite and wat is wrong.. isn't it that u shld let the ppl in the train to alight the train b4 u walking into the train??? if u jus wan to force ur way into the train 1st then the ppl jus wan to force their way out of the train.. both party will be struk there and it will not come to an end..

we usually take the things our parents do for us for free.. we always think that the things they are is a must.. but honestly how many of us ever thank our parents once for cooking a meal for u?? ur parents could have simply go downstair to buy packet food for u.. or even worse jus give u some money and ask u to settle ur meal outside.. some ppl may think that that's a beta way.. every1 jus settle their meal by themselves outside and not cause so much problems.. but have u ever think.. how much time do u spend talking to ur parents in a day?? 1 hr?? 30 mins?? 10 mins?? nv talk?? dun be surprise if u find urself nv ever say a word to ur parents once a day.. some ppl who wan to talk to their parent, they may not even have the chance to.. their parents may not be ard anymore.. and u jus taking everything for free from ur parents.. nv even spare a thought for ur parents.. but when u get into trouble who will be the 1st to help u out?? ur best fren?? ur buddy?? ur dear?? NO!!! i can confirm that they will not be there.. onli ur parents will unconditionally help u out of every trouble u create.. forgive u time and again even if u made the same mistake over and over again.. if u dun believe mi jus remember tis 1st.. time will prove it to u..

anyway i seriously hope u ppl can thx ur parents for everything that they give u.. cos they actually dun owe u anything.. they gave u life and they gave u everything u needed since u were young.. so dun take things for granted.. nth is free.. they did their job.. so dun expect them to do everything and spoon feed u.. learn to grow.. and do the right thing.. dun let ur parents worry for u even after u grow till so old liao.. learn to hold reponsible for watever u do..

nitex ppl!! take care.. heavy message today on my post.. slowly read and digest.. i'm sure someday sometime some1 out there will find my sentence helpful to them..

HP gone!!!

2008-08-26T16:06:00.002+08:00

hi all... so many days nv update.. and i'm goin to jus write abt somethings....

I FUCKING HELL LOST MY HP!!! IN CAMP TODAY!!! WTF!!!

in camp hp oso no carema... ppl still wan steal and go sell... how much can a lousy HP be sold at?? $10?? $20?? kns... so cheap le ppl still wan steal... do they noe that some information inside the phone worth more than the $20 that they get for selling the phone... FUCK MAN!!!

angry nw... pls try ur ways to give mi ur contacts... thx...

BTT

2008-08-16T21:02:00.002+08:00

hi all.. since i last update my blog.. quite a number of things have happened..ummm..slowly write ba..

1st..friday was supposed to go for retreat at changi aloha..but then cos of my BTT, my buddy and mi skip the retreat and wen on to take our BTT at BBDC.. it was our second try le..failed the 1st attempt..kns..but bo bian 1 la..fail le then learn from our lesson lo..that is must be prepared then go for the TEST..dun jus walk in and take..80% will fail..haha..anyway finally passed BTT le..nw shld be saving money to take my PDL liao..dunno when then can get the money to do so..

anyway friday morning wen for our 18km run at EAST COAST.. wa lau..the last time i ran anything was back in APRIL when i was taking my 2nd yr IPPT lo..4 months nv run le then suddenly ask mi go run 18km..GG man..but then i sure twang 1 la..lols..twang and slack ard..in the end onli run 5km..and wan back to starting point which is another 5km..haha..power leh..haha..

ok..other then those 2 events..nth much le ba..gt oso lazy update..and dun think much ppl will read my blog oso ba..take care ppl..nitexx..sian..a veri boring life i'm leading..can some1 do the change in mi??

i miss...

2008-08-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

yoz ppl, back to update lo.. tml onwards i will start my outfield instructor life again.. i will be swapping with a of my buddies and will be taking charge of trainees again.. a bit sad cos cannot realli slack le.. must work le.. but still ok la.. work is jus work.. surely still can slack de..

anyway today was doin nth much in camp.. jus planning and helping doin the cse opening stuff with my 2 other frens.. prepare everything and getting everything ready.. so that we dun need to rush on next monday... some more thurs and fri are OFF day.. so cannot do anything.. so beta prepare earlier and get things done before we get scoldings..

haix.. was thinking quite alot.. i miss alot alot of things.. so many gd memories i have with mi.. so many ppl walked in and out of my life for the past 21 yrs.. so many.. but how many realli know mi??? how many realli treat mi as brother.. how many realli helped when i have trouble??

i miss.. i miss so so so many things.. i miss:
- the carefree life when i was in primary sch.
- the happy time when i was in sec sch.
- the endless fun i had while in upper sec.
- the hack care attitude i can have even after bashing some1 up in sec sch.
- the happiness my frens gave mi.
- the boldness of scolding my manager and walk out of workplace quitting the job.

so many... so many... whr is the old self mi?? whr has it gone to?? why do i feel so uneasy abt so many things nw??? why do i care how others feel nw?? why do i think for others before myself?? why i give others more than wat others give mi?? why am i such a failure in studies?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i am happy nw?? why didn't any1 ask mi if i wan a change in my life?? why didn't any1 care?? why do i have to start worrying abt how to survive on tis heartless world at such a young age??

how much i wish i can go back to the time when i onli have to worry wat i wan to play next.. no worries abt life.. no worries abt food.. no worries abt money.. no worries abt others feeling.. no worries abt anything except wat to play next.. everyday fun.. everyday rotting.. everyday doin nth.. its like when we are still a baby.. do u have to worry abt anything?? NO!!! ur parents will provide u with everything.. how many ppl out there are worse than mi?? alot more.. i noe.. but when must tis world be so heartless.. why ppl jus cannot help each other out when we get into trouble?? do u realli feel gd when u c some1 getting into trouble??

i miss everything in the past.. i miss them.. watever i do nw will not bring mi back to the past.. so i shld plan wat to do next and get myself a gd job.. i will not let others look down on mi anymore.. i will not let them have the chance.. i may not be the best person out there but i'm sure i will not be a failure anymore..

thinking back i oso nv realli take things seriously.. maybe its time to wake up my idea and get things done.. give my dad a gd life in the future.. i will not let him suffer again..

ppl out thr.. even if ur parents let u down.. u still have to do ur job to get them to live under a roof and get them a living.. cos no matter wat happened.. they still feed u till u grow up.. u think u will be sitting down here reaeding my blog if they never give u food since u are young?? u think u noe how to survive since u are born ar?? its ur parents who spent time taking care of u.. so watever they do.. we still owe them too much.. without them we will not be sitting here.. think abt wat i said ba..

every nite i hope u ppl out thr can jus lay down on ur bed.. spend abt 15 mins thinking thru wat u did right and wat u did wrong.. wat u could have done to make every1 else life beside u happier.. maybe tis way then u will improve.. nitexx ppl.. dun say wait wait wait.. or no time no time no time.. dun wait till everything is too late.. ppl are gone then u wan to say then u wan to do.. say and do the things u wan when they are still alive..

sianzz

2008-08-10T17:50:00.002+08:00

halo, jus dunno wat to do so write blog lo.. nth to update oso.. everyday life seems to be the same.. and everyday my life is onli ard working, serving the army, go home, talk to parents, eat dinner with them, talk to them, then they go slp le then i go play games.. use comp..

wat else can i do?? sometimes i realli wan to go out de.. not that i like to stay home.. but will it be too bo liao to go out walking aimlessly ard everywhr and heading towards no whr... mum recently jus told mi her plan for next few yrs.. wa.. its YRS!!! not months.. omg.. she told mi the planning all because she wan mi to have another motivation in my life.. she wan mi to do some planning for my own future.. at tis point of time i realli dun have much hope for my future..

haix.. alot of thinking need to be done.. i seriously need to think abt my future.. wat will i become?? how is my life goin to be in 2 yrs time?? still rotting ard doin nth successful?? haix.. dunno.. hope everything can jus be alright..

nth to say le.. take care ppl.. have fun..

i dunno how to..

2008-08-10T01:10:00.002+08:00

hi ppl.. recently alot of things happened to ppl who i came in contact wif.. why must all tis happened?? i noe its fated.. i noe it will happened soon or lata but why am i so limited then i cannot help any1 of them.. i can't help any1.. i'm so limited..

anyway i oso dunno if the things i do is worth it anot but then i jus wan to help her out of tis problem..i have tried so many ways to.. e mailing her.. leaving her friendster sms.. comments.. tag board.. giving her my HP and msn add.. but then nw i stilll dun have any replies.. but as long as i think its rite then i'll continue to find ways to help her.. i jus wan her to noe that there's still alot of things that she will need to face in the future.. same issue.. same problem will surely hit her again..

wat she need is time.. wat she need is a word of console.. i'll try my best to help her out.. thrus, fri, sat & sun.. i'm on off.. i'll go to places that she wan to go.. i hope i can meet her somewhr there and talk to her.. i hope i can jus bump into her.. let c if i do..

SG is not veri big.. but then its oso not that small.. i hope that we will bump into each other while walking on street.. take care.. and dun stress out anymore.. talk to ppl.. u will feel beta.. i'm sure.. u will.. kkzz..

nite all.. its late le.. i'm still thinking.. how to help her!! any ideas?? hope i dream of 1 tonight..

i jus realised..

2008-08-02T16:38:00.002+08:00

yoz, ppl out there... do u have a close fren who can give up everything and anything for u nw??? if u have 1... u are a blessed person...

last nite when i was realli veri down, when i wanted to go out for a walk, when i wanted to chat wif some1... i realised that i have no1... i have no1 to turn to... not even 1 person... hw sad life can be if 1 day u realised that u dun have any1 to chat wif when u encounter some problems... haix... that's my life...

8 yrs back... when i jus entered sec 1... i was a timid boy who dun dare to look striaght into others eye... i jus sat down quietly in a corner of the class... but soon i found myself 2 die-hard buddies... we eat tgt, played, kanna scoldings, skip classes, fight, watever that u can think of i believe we oso done it le... i thought tis relationship with my 2 buddies will remain as long as we lived... but i was wrong... things isn't as beautiful as i thought they will be... alot alot alot of things can change the veri next moment...

jus a simple decision i made on their behalf... they blamed mi for that... they blamed mi for nt asking their views b4 i made that decision... jus a simple simple issue... and they broke the fren-ship which i thought could have been a fairy tale fren-ship to mi... everything was fine and well until that incident happened... they jus gave up on a fren-ship that we used 7 yrs to built on... 7 yrs... its so funny... we have been thru so much and fought hard to maintain the fren-ship we built... and yet because of a simple issue they fren-ship is been broken up...

recently alot alot things happen ard mi... alot of ppl passed away... within 3 months... 1st was my china relative.... then was 2 of my in camp buddies' grandpa... then followed by my cousin... and not long ago on 22nd july CAT's wai-gong passed away... then i jus read from 1 blog another gal oso left tis world on 22nd july... the link is in my ytd's post... u guys can go take a look... she met an accident on her way home... jus shortly in 3 months... 5 person i know passed away... although there are alot more out there who i dunno... but it have prove to us that life is veri veri short and unpredicatable.. i hoep every1 treat each other like its the veri last time u are goin to c tis person... then u will not have regrets even if he/she is gone... do wat u wan to do... do wat is right... dun care abt wat others say as long as its not a crime...

i hope all of u out there have some1 there for u when u need... treat the person well and forgive and forget watever ur buddy does as long as u can... its never easy to have a close buddy and u will never feel gd to let ur closest buddy walk out of ur life... hope every1 out there will treasure the ppl ard them and remember to treat every1 the best u can...

LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR US TO WASTE AND THINK BEFORE U ACT!!! DUN REGRET!!!

sad for her.

2008-08-01T20:49:00.001+08:00

i dunno why am i sad and wat make mi so sad but once i saw the many posts her fren wrote on the accident, i feel for her fren and i feel that it was a waste that she's gone jus like that.. leaving behind loads & loads of ppl who cared for her... so many of them... once u reaed the blog then maybe u will noe how i feel le... i have recently lost a relative oso... but that relative isn't as close to mi so i dun feel so much... i cannot think wat is something happen to my immediate family... i bet i will break down... i have nth much to hope for and look forward to on tis world except for my family members...

the dead gal's blog link: http://kissonmylips.blogspot.com/

her best fren's blog link : http://caiweii.blogspot.com/

i hope all of u out there will read this 2 blogs and seriously we shld think of how we can treat ppl who are ard us beta... we shld not waste time on useless things and shld thinkk more abt helping the others... i hope every1 will do wat they think is correct and treat our family members the best... no matter how much u they have made u angry, no matter how much they have made u sad, no matter how busy u are... remember always to spend time with ur family cos they have alrdy given up alot alot for u in the past... if u dunno wat i'm talking abt nw dun worry... in the future u will understand... but now remember to spend time wif them... give both parties some happy memories to keep in our heart... even after they are gone, at least we still have something to remember, something to think of, something which will make we remember them..kk..

take care.. ppl do think of ur own actions... dun regret like i do...

2008-08-01T20:16:00.000+08:00

SHOULDNT IT BE THIS WAY?BF's SHOULD DO.
☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her
☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

i will say sorry

2008-07-24T15:51:00.003+08:00

if i have seriously did something wrong i dun mind saying sorry... that's for him... happy enuff???

its ok with mi de... like i said... as long as u are happy la...

SORRY!!!

[ W.i.n.n.i.E ] says:
but frm ur blog it's obvious tt u accussing him..

dunno wat human brain are for...

2008-07-24T11:06:00.002+08:00

yoz, back to update a bit ba.. 1st time i c ppl scolding mi on blog.. but i dun think i give u a dam abt whatever he said.. and oso why took so long to reply after u read that post which i wrote for u???

anyway u can scold mi for all u wan la... i dun realli care... cos i cannot control ur mouth and oso i cannot control wat u wan to do... if u wan scold that scold lo... u wan come bash mi up i oso cannot stop u... but remember dun do it in camp... lata u tio charge to DB dun blame mi... wait for mi step out of camp then bash mi up... i everyday book out oso will stand at MRT station drink bubble tea for 1/2 hr...

haha... stop talking abt him le... yup... since tuesday i have been on off... cse jus finish ma... so took a few days off to rest lo... tis friday we are goin to celebrate edmund's birthday... haha... gd leh... gt celebration... haha... anyway i will go down to support them la... ya... ummm... oso nth to do ma.. everyday at home play play play... haha...

to pan xiong... wa lau.. dun say in public my english poor la... we all noe can le... c la... now every1 oso noe le... haha... lols... but u ppl understand wat i talking can le la... u noe wat our country is famous for??? SING-lish... lols... so ya... as long as ppl understadn us then ok le... haha... didn't noe u read my blog oso de wor... i seldom update de... always lazy to type... on comp onli start playing game le... ya...

kk... stop here... update next time... c u ppl again... take care... have fun in life everyday...

wat happened!!!

2008-07-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

hi again to ppl who does read my blog... anyway today came home quite early to rest cos tml i will be super suer busy... 3 hrs to finish a 2 days work... power leh... but i not powerpuff gals or superman... so surely gt to rush till quite late... hope the ppl can give mi the result for compile eariler...then i dun need rush so much...

anyway the following things is write for some1 who does read my blog...

its to a guy la... not gal... so dun anyhow think... LOLS!!!!

below are the words that i want to tell him and hope tis words can make him realised that he made a mistake and pls dun make another mistake again...

i gt to noe tis gal 3 & 1/2 yrs back in my poly... back then i remember that she had a BF... to my knowledge their relationship had always been rocky and not stable... then i gt closer with the gal and mi gt tgt... BUT THEN!!!! i gt tgt with gal gal onli after she broke up wif u!!! if u noe i'm talking abt who.... its u...

i did not broke up u 2... i didn't and i wan u to know that she broke up with u back then was not because of the appearance of mi in her life... is she think that the relationship between u 2 cannot make it anymore... understand anot?? dun always think that alot of ppl in tis world owe u a living... no 1 does owe u a living... u have to fight for and put in effort to get wt u wan in life... nth will drop down from the sky and come straight in ur face if u dun work hard... i hope u understand...

then gal gal and mi broke up... she wen back to u... it was my choice back then to break up... i regretted... i tried to do thing to get her back into my life... i did watever i can... but in the end when i ask her for another chance she didn't even think twice before telling mi that she ONLI WANTS TO BE WITH U!!! all she hope for was the little bit of trust that u can give her... all the wan is the love and care u will give her...

u always say that she still have not forget abt mi... but have u sit down and think abt alot of things that happened... if she realli wan to betray u she will have done that long ago le... she doesn't need to wait till nw then betray u... so i hope u can understand that nw watever she think of is u... i hope u can realise how lucky u are to have her beside u all tis while... though she may have left ur side for a few months in the past but then the breaking up shld be a wake up call to u... the break up shld make u tresure her more when u have her nw... u shld love her more and care for her more...

i ca promise u that i will never ever try any ways to break up the 2 of u in the future as long as u treat her well... wat i wan to c is her been happy everyday... dun always think of something that never happen de... things that others said maybe fake!!! things that others do may be fake!!! but things that she done for u without u knowing is the fact...

i hope u can understand watever that i wan to say here and treat her gd in the future... dun jus always say break up... although u may be jus saying it at the time when u are angry with her but the damage u done for saying that will still hurt her... think before u say... think before u do... dun jus say and do things without thinking the pain and hurt u can cuase to the person who u are talking to... think before act cause something cannot be reverse and u may regret for ur life...

anyway i hope tis post in my blog can clear alot of u misunderstanding with mi and oso hope that u can noe how hoe she feel for u... she didn't do anything behind ur back... and i hope u will treat her gd and give her the happiness that she's looking for... thanks...

i hope the guy noe that tis post is jus written for hi to read... hope some day when we meet, we can be like frens... saying at least a "Hi" to each other... hope so ba...

ok ok... end le... take care ppl... i go slp le... tml is my busy day... take care... nitex!!

sian...

2008-07-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

wa lau aaaa.... dam sian... from last sunday i will need to book in to camp on sat nite for the next 1 month... 2 duties and 2 live firing to go thru.. got so suay ma... everything pack together... veri shag de leh...

anyway last sat wen back to camp sunday was my duty... peaceful day... nth much happened... haha... great... at least nth happpen during duty mean gd news... haha... anyway dunno wat i thinking nw oso... veri confused...

maybe update when i have the mood to... go think of things that have bothered mi for the past 3 yrs le... dunno la... if i can i will still go thru the road that i wen thru... i onli regretted on giving up so easily... y didn't i held on to wat i used to had... nw say anything oso no use le...

TIME WILL NEVER GO BACK AND WE CAN ONLY LOOK INTO FUTURE!!!

2008-07-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

ok.. since ah ma alrdy open her GOLDEN MOUTH to ask mi to post some happy things then i shld think of some happy things to put onto my blog for u ppl to c... ummm...

my life dam boring de so nth much to blog abt oso... everyday i come home to use comp... then slp.. next day wake up then go back camp... in camp work like dog... then lata try to find ways and means to twang (slack)... then when its time, i will jus disappear into thin air and quickly escape from the deadly camp.. hehe... walk out from rear gate back home... then again its the same old things that i do everyday...

then talking abt wkend... to alot of ppl they always dun believe that i never go out on wkend de... to them i'm the type of person that have alot alot frens and surely will go chiong during wkend de... but they are wrong.. hehe... i will jus stay home after comin home on friday nite then sat morning go market with aunt... then maybe slp and do some work at home for sat... sunday oso same as sat... slp and do some work... then its time to slp le lo... then its monday morning again...

LOLS!! boring rite??? but that's my life lo... i can actually throw away my HP de... when my HP rings... onli 2 type of ppl will call mi....
1st - army personal...
2nd - aunt & uncle (ask mi gt go home eat dinner anot)

aiyo... my fren circle used to be as big as singapore but nw its as small as the red dot on the world map... lols... last time i wen out was the BBQ to celebrate my ah ma's BD lo... lols... and i think i have nt step into town for more than half a yr le la... lols...

but nvm... singapore life cost is increasing everyday and ppl will have to pay more when they go out... so dun go out then can save more money le lo... i will always remember my promise i made to myself... haha... ok ok...

AH MA tis post nv emo le hor... but oso nth happy le... lols... ok ok... when happy things happen on mi then i will surely post for u to c de.. k.. lols... take care.. nite ppl... working time...

tired of working le..

2008-07-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

haix.. dam sad recently... dunno wat to say le.. ummm... recently alot of things need to settle... and my closest buddies in camp are goin to ORD soon... sad... :'(

sian de lo... sometimes oso nt my things then why they ask mi to settle... somemore its nt like a few hrs can finish the job de lo... they pass mi the things will take months to finish de... and its lke i need to settle them by tis wk... gd ar... kns!!! make mi work like dog... then some more gt to go outfield when i still need to settle the admin part for the course... i help ppl with theyir outfield training then who will give mi time to settle my admin part??? they will onli use mouth to say why u take so long to do ur work... then they will think they u are slacking and "EATING SNAKE" lo... haix... human mentally...

jus hope that things dun jam up at teh last min.. at least i can clear my work and do my thing then i happy le.. lols... dun care abt other things 1st... nth much to say le...

take care ppl... things are changing alot in my life... hope that there will be some1 who can understand and know wat's happening... but i dun think any1 will care oso... every1 is leading theur busy life... and with or without mi clock still ticks... days willl past... sun still rise... nth le.. take care... bb...

FrEnS aRe StILl FrEnS...

2008-07-02T19:43:00.002+08:00

halo, today was not a busy day... but its a veri veri clamp day... when there's nth then seriously there's nth... but when i'm busy... then i veri dun even have time to talk... kns... they like to pack things tgt then give it to mi to rush... always like that... think i superman ar??? kns... rush once nvm... rush twice i still ok... wa lau... rush so many times... then if i nv meet their expectation then they F mi again... like my fault to nt get the work done like that...

anyway i do thing oso will think which is more important which is more urgent... comfirm is do the more urgent de 1st rite??? then if ur things are not as urgent then maybe i will jus get it done lata or tml la... dun think that i'm onli sitting down there doin ur things... i am dealing with the extire 2 courses de admin stuff... all the paper work... not like i always gt time to slack ard de lo... even if i gt time to slack its cos i plan my work and time lo... is i chiong to do my work early in the morning then i gt time to rest in the noon...

anyway i realised once again then frens will always remain as frens no matter wat happened... once u gave up on her and once that onli chance fly away then dun even think of getting another chance from her... i think i'm suitable to remain single... it shld be the best choice after all... single oso gt its own advantages... maybe when u don't hope for something to happen then u won't get disappointed that much... the lesser the hope the lesser the pain... its true... the higher the hope the heavier u will fall... the more pain u will suffer...

i decided not to input any hope on human beings... so that i won't suffer so much... not that i dun have the courage to face the problems that will arise... i dunno... but i jus dun wan to let others have any chance of making mi a fool again...

I AM JUS ANOTHER LIVING PERSON WHO IS LOOKING AIMLESSLY IN THIS EVER CHANGING WORLD NW...

WAT WILL I BECOME IN NEAR FUTURE NO 1 KNOWS... I CANNOT EVEN ANSWER MYSELF...

WhO cAn I pUt My HoPeS oN??

2008-07-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

yoz ppl, after so long of living on this earth... have u ever thought abt tis question?? have u ever think that who can u ever raelli put hopes on abt ur future??? is it ur parents?? is it ur children??? ur sisters??? ur brothers??? ur best fren??? ur wife???

do u realli have the confident to realli put hopes on ur loved ones??? even if they are teh closest loved ones to u??? if u have some1 whom u can realli can trust and put hopes on, dun even give up on that person... cos u may not find another 1 on tis small planet anymore...

anyway today is SAF DAY... 1st july is SAF DAY for ur infomation if u dunno... so was involove in doin sercuity for the event... the event which onli actually last for 3 hrs made mi stand under the sun for abt 7 days... power rite??? waste time waste energy... some ppl may say its once a life time event that i can take part in... but to mi i rather dun have to take part in this type of event... tiring,draining,waste time... to mi la.. to others i dunno... but anyway its over le... no more that event for mi... the next BIG saf event is the AHM 2008... ARMY HALF MARTHON... 21km run in 2hrs... wa lau.. how to run... i not pro runner leh... surely die that day... august... thinking of getting MC then le.. dun waste my time... lols...

dam tired dun talk le... think tml gt time then write again...

time is the best medication to healing wounds...

decision made today..

2008-06-30T18:40:00.003+08:00

haix.. sad news so mi but maybe it doesn't even affect any1 living on tis earth... after 10 days of consideration and thinking the situation at every angle that i can think of... maybe staying single is still the best way to solve it...

not that i dun wan to commit myself in...

not that i dun like her anymore...

not that i dun hav the courage to go into another relationship...

the most important reason is that i can see that SHE DON'T LIKE MI AT ALL.

since the start it was a one sided thingy and nth was said, nth was promised... we didn't even have each other's hp no.. wat else can i wish for??? nth la... cos i noe the most that we did was to send a friendster message to each other...

regarding the TAGS on ur blog... it was the onli way i can think of to chat wif her... it was the onli way i can to know wat happened to her... it was the onli way i can to know how is she doin today... without her blog its like we can never chat wif each other, never have a chance to know more abt each other... there's no other ways to how i can chat wif her...

after thinking for teh past 10 days... considering all the pros and cons that i can think of... weighting wat is important and wat is urgently on hand that i must settle... all the problems and situation that we may meet in the future if we get tgt... all the things ba... but watever the outcome of my thinking was... i onli made tis decision because i noe SHE DOES NOT LIKE MI... maybe u can say that we onli seen each other for 10 days and its noemal for her not to feel anything but then i still think i shall not drag another ppl into wat maybe become another failure... i know that i have always been as a failure in life...

until nw i still cannot think of anything that i can work as in future... with my 'O' level cert i think i can do nothing... nth much ba... maybe something that no1 wants to work de then i can get the job lo... starting a relationship will surely increase my expenses... let's not say paying for ur partner... jus take bus go out then send her home then go home... all this are extra cost... ppl who dunno my situation may think that i am veri "CAT"... but its the environment ard mi that train mi up to be like this... since i was born, i never bought a shirt or pants for myself... all the clothings i have is taken from some rich ppl who dun wan them anymore... i have never used any facial products never buy any products to repair my damaged hair... i am a person who was train not to spend a single cent except on food... sometimes i will even walk home from jurong east central which is like 1/2 HRS walk... but jus to save the 65cents...

watever ppl say mi i dun care... cos i noe that 1 day every1 will grow old... 1 day every1 will look ugly... 1 day every1 will die... as long as my family members are happy then i'm fine...

fulfilling some1 else's wish can sometimes be happier than fulfillin ur own wish cos u noe u made some1 happy today... maybe i think too much and say too much... but i jus wan to say that i dun have the energy and ability to fall in love with another person again... its reallli realli reallli tiring... i have gt too many things to carry on my shoulder... its more than wat i can handle...

some may ask mi then why still find a GF?? to mi lookin for a GF is like a mental support piler... cos when u have some1 who u love to talk to and when she's willing to talk to u... share ur problems... feel for u... she will always be a mental support to mi... cos i noe that no matter wat happens i still have some1 that i can find to talk... some1 who will lend mi a shoulder to lend on when i need... some1 to share my happiness/saddness with mi no matter wat happens... but how many ppl out thr can realli, confidently say that their partner will not leave them someday sometimes in the future??? how sure r u?? 100%?? 80%?? 50%?? 30%?? or onli 1%??

no1 can predict wat's goin to happen the veri next moment... we all dunno how we wil become in future... who knows maybe singapore suffer from a terrible EARTHQUAKE.. all high rise falls and half of singpaore population are gone... dun say it won't happen here... nth on this world is fix... like i always says CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT IS CHANGE... CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT WILL NOT CHANGE IN TIS EVER CHANGING WORLD...

sometimes even when u put in all ur effort, it may not yield any result... dun carry so much hopes on human... they are the most unpredictable animal on planet... jus do watever u think is correct and dun regret... today i made a decision that i may regret in the future... but if i ever get a chance to tell her i may reconsider if i tell her... that's if i ever get a chance la... for nw... let's jus hope that we can be frens and maybe things will then change from thr...

nite ppl... i'm drain out... need to rest le... recently getting tired veri easily and always not enuff rest ba... i go orh orh le... take care ppl... oh if carmen gt read tis blog then i hope u will keep the sercet between u and mi and miss ye... dun let the news out... thx...

2008-06-28T21:38:00.002+08:00

hihi.. i said i will update my blog today for ppl to c and i kept my promise nw... typing things that happened to mi from morning 7am - nw(10pm)... although nth much happened... but still can write quite a bit de...

morning woke up and shag like hell cos last nite slept at 3am... so onli like slp for 4 hrs... last time i slept for 4 hrs onli was like half a month ago... nw i become gd boy le... always gt time then slp like pig... minimumly oso slp 6 hrs per day... ya... so feeling quite tired... but still gt to wake up... cos goin market wif my aunt as she still cannot carry heavy stuff after her operation... i'm oso not goin to let her risk goin alone lata gt BLIND ppl bang into her then i tink her wound is goin to take another 3 months to heal again... till nw her wound still haven heal lo... super long... so must take extra care not to get it worse... dun waste the effort for the past few months...

anyway wen market at 7 plus... take bus to WEST COAST market... wear till dam casual... that's mi... then shop for food for ard 1 hr... wa... though nv buy alot but still i 1 person carry all the food quite heavy de lo... took bus 51 home... guess wat is the 1st thing i do when i reach home... surely u guess some logical ans.... haha.... the ans is ( i took off my shoes) ... LOLS!!! if i future BAOBEI reading then u beta laugh... cos tis joke is for u de...

then on my comp check out my earning for last nite... then wen to eat breakfast with aunt in kitchen... talked abt my future, buying hse, gettting married and alot more... dunno la... i haven met some1 who i think i can marry with and spend the rest of my life with her... hope FUTURE BAOBEI will be the 1 i'm looking for... i dunno... maybe we won't even start or get anywhr... she may not even know i like her... lols... wait till later a bit then we talk abt tis...

after talking to aunt... wen to watch drama on crunchyroll... till noon then ate noodles... aunt cook hokkien prawn noodle.. nice nice... ate like pig... then wen back to my comp... watch drama till 6pm then start to earn some money again... then nth much le lo...

its quite another boring day for mi... but still ok la... i used to tis type of life style le... everyday at home oso nt bad... can save more money and reach my MILLION target earlier... haha... ok ok... hope my FUTURE BAOBEI can cheer up... she said she's quite down lately... dun down le.. must UP a bit k.. lols.. hope she can cheer up for teh next few days... cos she goin off and dun nd work... so more rest more... yaya... take care... have fun oso...

makin another decision in my life...

2008-06-27T21:37:00.003+08:00

yoz, ppl... haven started doin anything to try to inprove the situation i am in... lols... dunno whr to start off with... how to open my mouth and get her HP no... i PAISEH la.. some more ppl who i can get from are ppl who will bomb my with 10000000000000000000 questions when i c them... lols...

i i ask from frens surely they wil keep on pestering mi asking mi y i wan her HP no... if i dun get from frens then i can onli ask from her personally... which i tink is a beta choice cos it seems more sincere... ya... but still i will surely get myself a chance to tell her de... cos i dun wan to regret for the rest of my life and miss another chance jus like tt...

lata after i miss tis chance then i regret like hell again... but if i tell her and if she accept its goin to be difficult for mi to maintain it ba... need alot of effort ba... and oso alot of time... i dun mind giving up on comp games to allow myself to have more free time but then sometimes life isn't as easy and simple as we think we wan... life always control alot of our doings and limit us to alot of things...

once i dun believe tis sentence but nw i does a bit... some1 told mi tis 1 day when i'm thinking abt my problems...

"WATEVER PROBLEMS THAT CAN USE MONEY TO SOLVE IS NOT A PROBLEMS AT ALL"

do u believe in tis... tis is actually quite true and we have to beileve it... who dare to say he/she has not dream of retiring at our age... dun need go work everyday... sit at home shake leg... do things that u like... go on holiday and to countries that u like... go walk walk without thinking of how to earn more money... buy things that u like...

alot of things can be solve once u have money but there are also things that u will not get it even when u are rich... that's TRUE love... i always believe if ur frens onli come o u when u r rich then u can rather kick out of this earth and get rid of them as far as possible... cos they are onli after ur money... no true feelings for u de... when u are poor and nth to give to others but yet they came to help u... came over to lend u a helping hand then that's call true fren... true feelings... i oso believe that when a couple truely love each others, there's nth in tis world that can separate the 2 of them... even if u put them on either side of the poles they will still love each others and miss each others as days goes by... nth can change them...

i have always envy ppl who have such stable relationship and i noe tt it didn't come jus like tt... the couple must have put in alot alot alot effort in maintaining their relationship and make it possible to sustain it for so long and yet so stable... i oso hope and wish that one day i can be like them... having a stable relationship of my own and enjoying life wif my the other half... hope that day will come and my dream can filful soon...

end here le ba... if not lata think too much then cannot slp again... lols... take care ppl... hope the gal noe that i am refering to her... hope everyday she works safely and peacefully... miss her...

seldom blog..

2008-06-22T16:38:00.002+08:00

yoz..for some ppl info... i veri veri seldom blog de.. cos in NS.. everyday's life is abt the same.. and to make things worse... i dun even step out of my hse over the wkend and tt's y i gt nth much to write abt.. ya..

but sometimes will still update and let u ppl noe how have my life been.. yuppies..

since my last ex,miss winnie the pooh,i have always been running away from relationship.. cos i dun wan to spend another few months getting to know another gal.. then waste time and money on uncertain things again... things in tis world is changing every single minutes , every SECONDS... and wat makes u so sure tt the ppl beside u will not change and betray u the very next moment... i guess that's wat we call TRUST...

i heard some 1 saying tis sentence b4... goin into a relationship is giving some1 a knife to backstab u... maybe to some tis sentence may be veri true... but to others it maybe nt real at all... but at least to mi... i think that it not real althought i had a few unhappy realionship... but i still think tt there will surely be some1 out thr tt's waiting for mi to discover...

recently i gt a feeling for a gal whom i dunno her de... but on a outing wif my frens then i gt to noe her... i have been asking myself for te past few days... wat is the purpose of goin into a relationship?? to some ppl they have nv think abt tis question... but i dun wan to drag another person wif mi to die... with the things that i need to pay and handle every month nw is alrdy more than nw i can handle... so many things awaits for mi to pay,to do...

maybe nw is still not the time i shld rush for anything... let nature takes its course... if the gal manage to find out who she is then i may ask her out someday...

take care ppl... have fun everyday and enjoy yourself..

SAD day for mi and my cllose buddies...

2008-05-28T20:59:00.002+08:00

today dunno is wat day but jus a DAM SUAY day for my army regular fren... his name is vinitino... today his grandpa passed away... at 1910hrs... SORRY VIN!!! cant help u much cos i'm no a doctor... i think if i doc i oso cannot do much things to save him... i'll be more sad... cos i cannot save another life...

once again i experience tis life and death issue and it jus happened to some1 close to mi... nowadays ppl always say wait la,lata then do... but do they noe that they may not get the chance to do the things they wanted to do maybe the next min?? how u noe that by the next min u will still be alive happily talking to others?? u may have a heart attack the veri next second... so dun asume that we are still young and have alot time to do watever we wan... once u decide on wat to do then jus go ahead and do it... dun wait... if not regret is the word i will give u... time and life dun wait for us... they will not say that maybe u still have unfinish job then they dun take ur life away... no such things... so dun do things that we may regret in future... esp things that will hurt the feelings of our closest 1... they care for us the most and why musst we still do things to hurt our parents?? hope u ppl out thr can grown up more after reading tis.. and think abt wat u did and how have u treated ur loved 1.. regret wat u did in the past... then dun coommit that mistakes again in the future... wat past is past... so jus concentrate on future and dun do that mistake again...

i believe every1 of us surely had made or committed mistakes b4 in the past and i'm sure that others will SURELY forgive u if u are willing to change for the beta and admit it is ur mistake... after committing a mistake usually ppl will always think of how to push the blame to others... why not jus own up and i believe others will be happier to c the mature u...

i hope that things will change and turn out to be better for every1 out there and hope that u ppl can learn to be more mature and dun hurt ur loved 1 again in the future... no matter wat mistake u did ur parents will surely forgive u... as long as u are willing to change for the beta.. dun wait till the person is dead then u change and learn ur lesson... treat them gd when they are still alive and when they are dead there's nth much u can do... they dun feel anything anymore...

so painful to forget e past...

2008-05-24T21:50:00.002+08:00

ppl, long time didn't write and came to update a bit lo... in fact life had been VERI BORING and veri low key for mi... staying in camp more often than e past and oso getting more rest time in camp then at home... cos at home i'll on my comp till next morning then go back camp to work...

anyway...was reading HER blog and notice that she was sicl recently...didn't wan to sms her cos i dun wan create anymore trouble for her...so didn't leave her any tag in her blog oso didn't sm sher anything...jus dun wan to cause more quarrels for her...then suddenly thought of tis blog i can wish her SPEEDY RECOVERY and hope she get well soon...onlli in tis blog is the onli way we can commiuncate ba...

hope that u will get well soon nd stop spreading the virus to ur family members la...c la now mum sick le oso...all ur fault...some more ur ma ma must work and do hse work...help her out if possible k...lighten her work load then she can recover faster oso...go take more fruit and drink more water and stuff la...u nurse u shld noe beta than mi...k...

anyway after so long still can't do wat i wanted to do...forget HER and our past...jus 5 words to write in out...but it may take 5 yrs to filful it...thinking abt the past, actually we nv do anything veri special but i jus cannot finf a reason why its so difficult to forget her...maybe its jus a type of feeling ba...can't say out de feeling...

dragging and dragging for the past 3 yrs...that's wat is the result now and it jus seems veri difficult to forget everythingn now...ever if we dun call each other...we dun talk to each other..we dun c each other...we dun sms each other...the image of the gd times we had in the past still surface in my mind and it seems like the event had jus happened ytd...feeling so close yet its so far away...unreachable...sometimes i ask myself y did we break up?? y i made that sms to break up?? y u didn't say no?? y didn't we sat down and talk abt it?? y did i have to regret it???

alot of question is already unanswerable and we oso cannot realli find a prefect answer to the question anymore...wat we can do is to jus find a roughly idea/answer base on our memories... i cannot even remember much...i jus remember that i sent u the msg to break up at 6.55pm and i remembered u saying that u wanted to call mi to chat at 7pm after the drama show ends!!! 5 mins... it makes a difference...every second counts... a decision u made can cause alot of follow up side effect on another person...

i oso always ask myself...how would things go if i nv say break up??? how will things turn out to be if we have more patient for each other... how will things change if i learn how to handle things properly tt time... but wawt i can do now is jus a simple thing... REGRET... i noe i will nv forget u no matter wat happens in the future and i oso noe i had made a seriously wronged choice to give up...

sometimes the saddness is within the smile that a person put up on their faces,who will c the other side of them??? who can understand wat they are goin througH??who will spend time getting to know them more???

let mi tell u... the onli person who will stay by ur side when things realli happen is ur family...

wat i wan to say is mostly in tis song... maybe when u are free jus listen to it...maybe u wont noe wat i wan to say...but i believe u will..
孙燕姿-我怀念的

past 2 weeks.

2008-05-21T22:36:00.003+08:00

halo ppl,i'm back after MIA for 2 wks..not realli in a mood to update though..then oso dun feel like doin things after reaching home..think by now ppl who view my blog in the past oso will stop looking at it cos it is realli veri boring..

dun have pic dun have news..nth at all..lazy la..oso no mood la..got time then do lo..anyway i always gt time la jus dun wan do..dunno wat to say but i tink thru ur blog i believe u had a wonderful B'day and i oso happy for u..take care..and enjoy the days ahead b4 u start working..

camp life boring...

2008-05-08T21:00:00.004+08:00

yo ppl,i'm back to update..so long then book out a bit sori ar..nv write anything oso..paiseh..anyway i dunno wat to write leh...nth much to update la...everyday oso go camp work slp eat...

the onli special thing i did was to do a OPS VL for the search of "MSK".. sian...so long le still nv find him...then we must take extra duties every nw and then...dam tired...sell all my duties away...lazy to do oso...who cares...

nth much le...bye!!!

the BIG day for VINCE my army fren..

2008-05-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

onli u reading???

2008-05-04T02:40:00.003+08:00

i guess as much that u will be the onli 1 reading... or maybe car and elsa got read oso... but onli 3 ppl... then like veri bo liao... write for 3 ppl to c... althought i 1st thought that writing down the thinking that i have is to communicate to u... and i guess its the best way to talk to u... cos sms or call u will onli get u into more trouble... ya...

haix... but nw... looks like there no more reasons for mi to write anymore rite?? how long we haven talk le?? i'm always thinking why can human change in such a short time??? y??? did i do wrong in anything??? i guess i jus asked a wrong question... i asked u if i still have chance even in future... when u said NO!! i knew that was the last time we r goin to talk on phone again... then after u hang up the phone... i was praying hard that u will sms mi or somehting... but nth... nth at all...

then after that nite my cphone no longer ring in the nite le... even if it does its my NS fren... haix... y is relationship so fragile??? so easy to be broken??? cannot take the test of time??? haix... sometimes i wonder wat is the problem wif myself?? y ppl can have a gd,long-lasting relationship while i can onli have a short 1... is it always my problems??? or not??? can any1 give mi an ans???

maybe u can give mi some advise ba... other than u, there's another person that i'm veri close to oso... my 1st ex... last time la i mean... when we were tgt at sec 3... we were veri cclose... then ppl all say we were model couple for 2 yrs... and wat happened in the end??? broke up over a nite... some more i wasn't told till i go sch the next day... thx lo... i am her BF and yet tis thing can happened... not long after she was wif another guy le... haix... almost lose faith in relationship... always thinking if there's realli true love... oso realli think that no matter how long ppl are tgt... they can still break up overnite de... no such thing as confirm won't...

dun be over confident... the person u lve most maybe the person who can hurt u the most...

tired of writing le..

2008-05-02T22:48:00.002+08:00

i'm thinking if i still wan to continue writing in tis blog... but even if i stop writing i will not forget tis blog... tis blog consist of alot of effort from 2 person and i will always keep tis wif mi... anyway writing and nv write i guess oso not many ppl care... how many of u realli read?? 1?? 2?? 0??

ummm... writing in the past maybe a way of communication for us... but nw i find it no point le... cos it takes 2 palms to clap... not 1... if the other party alrdy give up and keep her palms in her pocket... then no matter how hard u hit, u r onli hittin the empty air... nth will happen... nth will change...

nowadays ppl always say that dun tink too much abt future... jus be glad that u alrdy have the best memories which u 2 shared in the past... but how many of us will realli wan to give up?? alot of things in tis world is beyond our control... we almost cannot control anything... wat can we control??? nth... we are jus fighting for survial on tis earth and earning as much money as possible to lead a gd life in the future... we are jus hoping that we can make more gd frens and spend time wif them living day by day wif happiness... wat else can we hope for???

i wan to hold onto to alot of things and ppl that are beside mi... but wat can i do to hold onto them??? wat can i do to change their mind and thinking??

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛
我记得你在背后也
记得我颤抖着记得
感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥

谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔
我怀念的我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得
太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

nth much le ba... the words are from a song... if u are interest then go find out wat is the song ba... i still trying my best to forget u... but i guess the harder i try to forget the harder it is for mi to forget... but i will not give up trying forgetting u... cos u gave up on mi le...

sat sat sat...

2008-04-27T01:14:00.003+08:00

ummm... today is sat... and its oso a sian day... the onli thing i can be happy abt is that my mum came back home today... from morning 9am to nite 8pm... haha... can c her... feel gd...

then wanted to play game whole day... but internet lag... then bo bian... wan play oso cannot... so go slp in the noon... ya... nth to do ma... ya... then woke up at 5pm... wa... another day wasted again... haix... nvm...

so nw playing game again...

sat sat sat...

2008-04-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

back at home..

2008-04-25T20:34:00.003+08:00

ytd was in camp thinking abt alot of things... alot of thing that we can do in life... alot of decision we can make along the way... but alot of times we always make the wrong decision and regret in future... every1 have got regret along the way but can we do anything to redeem it???

haix... yts nite in camp oso emo a bit... heng... got dota from eng to play... at least not so bored... then 10pm oonwards is hell... think and think and think... omg!! can i jus like everyday play work eat slp???? dun think can??? i oso dun wan to think de but always when nth to do then will start to think of alot of things lle lo...

nth to say le... lata emo again... haix.. take care ppl...

anyway hope ur little bro is alright!!! heard that he's sick rite?? nw got the HFMD must take gd care of him... children veri prone to that de... k... keep hygiene... dun let him suffer...

back at home..

2008-04-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

mi and her...

2008-04-24T02:49:00.002+08:00

after looking at the blog she wrote... and thinking through for the past 4hrs... maybe it's realli time for mi to give up on waiting le ba...

thinking back on how many promises we made... how long i have waited... how we got so close to each others even after months without talking... alot alot more... but then... still the same outcome no matter wat happened... u still chose to stay by him... like i said earlier on... i respect ur decision... i will not question anything... the more i won't do anything to break up u 2... cos i noe force is useless... if ur heart is still with him then i got ur body oso no use... i dun wan that either...

2 & 1/2 yrs back i was the 1 that gave up on u 1st... i said broke up 1st back then... i regretted... i tried my best since then to win u back... but failed after 10000000 tries... and i'm oso tired of listening to alot of things... i oso have got nth to say le... i jus wan to say that i tired my best to get u back but i fail no matter how much effort i put in... i'm jus too tired to carry on le... i give up and raise the white cloth from today onward... from today onward my goal is to forget the passt and look more plan more for my future... no more looking back in the past... wat's past is past... we shld treasure moree abt wat we have nw and plan for our future...

i jus got to believe and admit then we are not fated and maybe i jus lost to time... time is the factor... haix... nevertheless, i nv regretted having u once in the past... and i will always remember the times we share and the things we do in the past... from nw on all this things/ memories will be kept in the deepest part of my heart and they will always be carried with mi no matter where i go... no matter how old i am... thx alot for everything u did for mi...

take GREAT care of yourself... dun always let others bully u... k... and dun be lazy... go and find a job and start working... do more planning oso... k... hope to c u becoming a more outgoing person.. dun disappoint ur parents... they may seems to not care so much abt u but that's ot a fact... the fact is no parents will dump their children except my mum... all parents care for their children de... jus that they think that the younger 1s need more attention so u may feel nelgected... k... dun think so much... i believe they care for u as much as they care for ur little bro... k...

take care... hope u will have a gd future wif him... if wan be tgt then there must be give and take... dun always jus think the negative side of him... every1 got gd and weak links... must give and take in a relationship... k... slowly learn thru ur way and i believe u can do it... k...

take care my dearest fren... wish u all the best in everytihng u do... MISS U ALOT!!!

saw ye's blog.

2008-04-23T23:49:00.004+08:00

hi, alot day staying in camp so nv got chance to update blog... though sometimes nite time can use internet but i nv update... lazy... in camp nth to do then play or slp lo...

anyway nowadays cannot play CS in camp during office hrs le... cos head of wing complain then bo bian... mdm ban us from CAI during office hrs... so onli can play after office hrs... haix.... so sad... and sian... haix...

today came home... help my buddy do his jumping quest in maple... wa lau... zakum jump quest will make ppl angry de lo... but my patient still paid off in the end and i used 3 hrs to complete it... and in the mean while died 3 times... heng eng got A CASH... can buy safety charm... haha...

ok... but to my life... today then saw then ye got a blog for herself... no bad... at least u did it after u said it for 3 yrs... lols... must continue to update k... dun so easy give up... anyway inside her blog the words to small... i read oso difficult... must use so must concentration... lols... eyes will tied veri easy de leh... go pput the word bigger la... haha... ummm... inside got her life and pics... can go see see lo... anyway glad that she patch up wif XH le... hope he will treat her beta and be more understanding ba... WISH U 2 ALL THE BEST IN FUTURE...

anyway i miss the tues dinner wif my frens... haix... sad...sorry ppl... next time i promise i will try my veri best to go de k... haha...

ummm.... dunno wat to write le... take care ppl... nite!!!

saw ye's blog.

2008-04-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

2008-04-20T18:48:00.002+08:00

ummm... today ma.. again slept at 8am... wa... play game wif fren la... dun need say... the starhbub so gd... onli can use from mid nite onwards... so bo bian... slp in evening then play at nite lo... haha... ok...

ummm... next wk onwards course starting again le... tis time rd worse... 4 course goin to run at same time... wa lau... super busy liao lo... dun need say... 1 course still can slack... 2 course still ok... 3 course a bit tiring... 4 course is OMG!!! super busy can... cannot go play CS le... LOLS!!!

ummm... nw comp lag again... if not i'm surely in game... whr got time to talk... haha... so lag then cannot play... so came out to update blog... oso nth much to update wor... ummm... anyway tis comin tues the dinner i cannot make it wif my poly frens... dam sad... cos nowadays they all start working le... difficult to meet up... then got course running cannot go... sian... sori gals... maybe some other time k... sori...

anyway u gals go have fun ba... go eat play shop till drop dead... haha... those who got to work next day beta go home earlier... haha... take care... enjoy...

boring wkend...

2008-04-19T20:23:00.002+08:00

haix... starhub realli realli realli sux man... wkend cannot use internet... public holiday cannot use... sch holi oso cannot... even peak hrs for wkdays oso cannot use... then when canuse??? after mid nite ar??? sian to the core... stay at home wan play game oso cannot...

their connection realli sux to the core... morning woke up wanted to play then lag... noon time try again still lag... nite time oso lag... wa... like that lag i dun need use my internet le la... i'm surely and confirm goin to change to singtel once starhub plan is over... no matter wat offer starhub is goin to give mi... i'll not extend it anymore... waste my time onli...

haix... nth to say le... everyday seems dam boring... nth to look forward to... go slp nw... mid nite then wake up c if i can use the internet... starhub SUX!!!

9 days alrdy...

2008-04-18T21:58:00.002+08:00

today is the ninth day... if u noe wat i'm talking abt then read it... if not forget it... dun ask mi wat is it... ppl ard mi shld noe wat i mean...

anyway tis few days veri sian... play game then it lag... dun play game then nth to do... goin to read up some books on share investment and get more info on that... now i have quite a big interest in share nw... so must read up some book and get more info abt it b4 putting my feet into tis investment... if any1 who noes how to play tis or anything u wan share wif mi abt share can jus give mi a sms or call... i'm totally new to share investments... i noe nth at the moment... haha...

ok... nth much le... today jus wen to BBDC to book my basic theory test... OMG!!! dam suay can... u noe wat's the test date??? FRIDAY THE 13TH... that's y onli that day got slot for the test... LOL!!! no1 dare to take test on that day... but mi and my fren hack care... haha... we still book it and the test date is 13th june 2pm-3pm... hope i can pass it once... haha... dun need waste time on stupid things...

nite!! nth to update le.. oso lazy to update... wan orh orh le... recently dunno y get tired veri fast... like every 5 hrs will be super tired... not body tired... is onli the eyes... maybe got some problems... dunno... take care ppl... have fun and enjoy ur days!!!

unhappy thurs..

2008-04-17T19:17:00.002+08:00

today dam sian... at camp early morning onli kanna some scoldings from boss at 9 plus abt the movement chart and parade state again... not like i nv e mail to all users in MTW... i did told every1 that they are to sms or give mi a call to tell mi if they are on MC or OFF DAY or LEAVE... if they dun wan call mi or sms mi then wat can i do?? expect mi to call every1 to ask every morning meh???

not like i'm dam free every morning to call and ask la.. then sometimes call le they oso dun wan answer, sms them oso they dun wan reply mi then wat else can i do??? u go ask they insert a chip into their body la... then can track them with special device wherever they go... then dun need ask and make mi so troublesome... super sian la... early 1 morning fuck mi like hell... then after that when u working on the course opening slides... worse... its my very 1st time doin that slide and no 1 have taught mi on how to change that... think YY taught mi ar?? bull shit la... he nv lo... then when i changing the photos and the headings... he jus came over and hit mi on my head and push my head... CCB!!!

talk then talk la... dun push and hit my head... push for wat??? KNNBCCB!!! my head for u to push de ar??? fucker!!! if i not in camp i surely and with no regrets i will bash u up if u do that to mi outside camp... spoil my day early 1 morning...

dun wan talk le... dam angry... hope tml vince dun put mi areoplane again... beta make it for the BBDC trip... niteZZ!!!

monday blue!!!

2008-04-14T19:49:00.002+08:00

hihi... back at camp to update u ppl on wat happened today... ummm... today wen back to camp to work as its monday... dun need say oso must work la... anyway today go back oso do nth much...

early morning onli mdm alrdy say OA is goin to be down soon... so i quickly send the parade state and did every impt thing... then after that slack whole day... nth much to do oso... walk here and thr to return others the computer then go help others do some work... but still wen to garage to help my buddy as the cage needed to be sorted out...

take care ppl... i'm goin to slp 1st lata in the nite then wake up to play game le... take care... nite!!!

gaming sunday...

2008-04-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

halo ppl... i'm back to update my life... but nth much to say le... today is veri another boring day for mi... haix... nth to do then wat else will i do??? play game lo... everyday oso like tt... haix..

today noon time woke up... then on my comp... and sat in front of it till nw... lol... power la... super no life... everyday play game... then game game game... ok... talk something abt last nite...

at ard 2am... saw a black thing ran across my bro's rm... then after waiting for 5 mins... finally confirm tt its a at least 20CM RAT!!! WTF!!! then i spent the next 4 hrs catching it... the rat's reaction is so dam fast... i haven even make any move it run back to the hole le... and when i'm jus abt to get off my sit, it will turn its head and look at mi... so smart... but so dirty... if hamster then i dun mind... rat leh... dunno got go rubbish bin or wherever it goes then com into my hse... nv die b4...

then i blocked 1 exit and the rat is left to go in and out from a side... i so so so so nearly caught it... it ran past my side and when i try to cover it with a container i onli can kanna the tail... but the moving force of the rat is still too strong and it still manage to run back to its hole and hide... then i oso covered the other exit... but cannot fully cover it cos of the power supply plug...

wenn to slp at 6 plus in the morning... when i woke up... the rat is gone le... CCB!!! so heng... tonight i will try to catch it again if i c it... nite ppl!!! take care!!!

sian saturday...

2008-04-12T22:28:00.002+08:00

haix... today actually for a few things to do de... but all oso nv go do... next wk ba... cos my fren he sick... ya... bo bian... so next wk then go book my basic theory test lo... anyway next friday got 1 day off from the past corse... haha... gd leh...

today did nth... realli nth... wan to go out nv go out... wan to play game internet super lag... canot even play... then slp till 4pm then wake up... so nth much to say...

3rd day... and its counting on... haix... nth to say between us... from everyday of non stop talking to nth to talk... some more tis happened over 1 nite... wa...

CHANGE IS THE ONLI THING THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ON TIS PLANET!!!

course over le....

2008-04-11T22:54:00.002+08:00

wa... finally after so long... the trainees are gone and the course for them is finally over le... haha... then today is the last day of course for them and it oso mean we can relax for 1 wk b4 next course comes in again... and tis time its ASC... i will be super busy then... haha...

haix... past 2 days actually we didn't even talk or sms-ed... not even 1 sms... haix... thinking why ppl can change so fast and so much within a short period of time... the saying of "no 1 will die if they live on without u" is dam true... its the most wrong thing to believe that any1 will die jus cos u leave them... they will nv... cos we r human... human are most untrustable animal on tis planet... nv will any1 die together wif u de... dun believe those bullshit that other says to u... at tis oment they can say that... then moments lata when things realli happen, then u shld c who realli still stand by ur side???

family members aside... maybe some family members oso won't care abt u... lets not say frens... or watever person that u called BUDDY!!! SISTERS!!! BROTHERS!!! haha... dun make mi laugh... i can be sure that not more than 5 of them will stand by u... so lets face realilty... when u have $$$ surely u have alot frens... when u dun they oso won't find u... MONEY MAKE THE WORLD GOES ROUND... tis sentence is oso surely true... dun ever have a 2nd thought abt it...

anyway if tis continue, i dun think we will ever talk again oso... but maybe tis will helps in letting mi forget u ba... sometimes in camp then i'm so busy to think of anything, i realli like that... busy till i can forget everything... dun have time to think abt other things... sometimes jus want to worked till that tiredness and jus lie down to slp everyday... dun even wan to think abt future... dun even wan to think abt problems... dun wan to think abt troubles... but how can we run away from realilty??? go to outer space??? i hope so... go under water oso can la... jus dun wan to care abt anything sometimes...

today wen to c mum... her wound is starting to heal and its getting smaller as days goes by... great!!! finally her feeling has oso brighten up... hope that the skin will grow by itself and she doesn't need the transplant... then dun need stay at hospital again... if not got to stay for 2wks again lo... ya... then tis time realli can c suyi at NUH le...

anyway nth much le... take care ppl... dun fully trust even the closest person next to u cos u dun know when will their feeling changes and wat are they thinking...

mum's back home for dinner...

2008-04-09T19:34:00.002+08:00

haha... today is another slack day as the outfield exercise for the others continue for teh 2nd day... and i'm like slacking in office... althought early morning mdm sara asked mi to shift the computer ard... other than that i onli got a few others things to do...

shifting of computers continues and still thinking which comp can we use... keep on shifting and shifting... aiyo... make mi blur blur oso... haha... but who cares as long as my work can be done... ya... then came home to have dinner wif my mum right after work... heard that mum was comin home for dinner so i rushed home to c her... haha... so long nv c her le... then talked abt things and alot of stuff... hehe... had a great time wif her always... take care mum... hope u can recover asap and move back home... SPEEDY RECOVERY!!!

anyway then abt last nite... was talking to ye ye last nite...

aiyo... thought we got a chance in the future... in future i mean... but then... haix... i can understand that she doesn't wan to get any BF for the time being but then i'm talking abt future... i did not even set a time limit to it... i jus asked if i will have any chance in the future and the answer to mi was NO!!! haix... sadded... without giving a 2nd thought she replied mi "NO!!!" thx alot gal... all the thing we did tgt and u did for mi were jus for a fren... recently u treated mi so much beta and let mi have a dream but then u brust my dream bubble once again... recently u did so much for mi but still nth came out of it in the end... i asked u the 2nd time again on the same question but still the same answer u gave mi wothout thinking... wat else can i say??? can i beg u for it??? i won't cos relationship can nv be forced...

and u told mi that to be straight-forward in telling others how u feel is beta than beating ard the bushes... true enough i agree with that but i was still a bit sad when i hear the ans from ur own mouth... i knew wat the ans was goin to be... but i jus chose not to believe it... maybe i brought all the problems and troubles upon myself de ba... no 1 to blame for things like tis... jus blame it on fate... we r jus not fated...

haix... i said b4 to u and i'm sure i will still think the same way in the future... i will not and oso dun wan to get to know other gal anymore than a normal fren other than u... i have spend 2 plus yrs to get to noe u beta and i dun have the energy to do that on other gal anymore... but still i won't force u to do thing that u dun wan to... haha...

go and find a job that u like to work as since ur mum alrdy tell u to find a temp job 1st... dun let ur mum keep nagging at u... take care... tml staying in camp again... nth much to say le... bye!

relax day in camp...

2008-04-08T20:07:00.002+08:00

haha... i'm back to update u ppl on my life... haha... gd leh... today in camp work quite relax... haha... cos all of them went out of camp to go outfield for exercise... haha... then left mi and another fren in camp to take care of he whole office...

WAHAHAHAHA... relax jet le lo... haha... but when ppl call back into office... surely got job to do le... cos no 1 else u can arrow to do the job le ma... onli left 2 of us in office... not i do mean my fren must do... then he oso alot work to do so i will do the things if i can lo... haha... tml must shift the computers ard cos they are not at the positions that they shld be at... sian... alot of work... hope can finish early then can relax again... haha...

oso nth much to update la... everyday life in camp is the same de... but today got 1 shock... while my buddy is preforming his duty at the front gate... he nearly died... got 1 2pid driver dunno is no eyes or eyes got stamp... drive his van without looking at the road in front of him... they drove right into my buddy and needed my buddy to use his bare hands to prevent the van from hitting him... wa... HENG!!! the van didn't drive at a high spd... if not there goes my buddy... thx god... anyway tis is to teach u dun anyhow walk across the road without looking at it... dun think that the drivers will always look out for u... sometimes some 2pid driver like HIM will BANG right into u... i dun wan to lose any of my frens ok... will miss u ppl de...

take care ppl... haha... miss u ppl... tml go home then upload some photos... haha... HAVE FUN!!! enjoy ya day...

MY HAPPY SUNDAY

2008-04-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

gd morning ppl... look at the time of the post nw... morning le... dun say i type wrong... hehe... lols... anyway today was quite happy abt aa few things...

tis morning, oops no, shld be last nite i didn't slp... was playing games wif my frens online then play till 7am then wen to orh orh... tired... hehe... then woke up at 12 noon... started playing game again... haha... in game oso quite happy cos i got some nice items... then oso levelled up twice... haha...

anyway nite time ye ye gave mi a big surprise... she indeed manage to change my blogskin and put in the tag board for mi... all her credits gal... not mine... she took time out to try and test the blogskin until its prefect on her own blog then she edit mine... jus because she doesn't wan to spoil my blog postings... hehe... thx gal... give u a BIG HUG... oops... lata ppl say we ai mei again.. haha... who cares... we happy can le...

then she change everything from top to bottom and it turn out to be a nice master piece from her... although got some parts not that prefect but then she still solve the problems 1 by 1... so much patient wor... that prove that she can be veri patient and veri nice de... then jus when she finished editting my blog... her mum scold her for using the comp for too long... aiyo... dun put it in heart la... where got mum dun wan her daughter to be a gd gal de??? mothers will nv push their child to die de... their thinking and sayin are surely for ur gd de... k... dun think so much... jus quickly go find yaself a job then start working... once u start working i believe things will change beta and their oso won't nag at u so much le... k...

ye ye, realli a great help to others at times... when she gd mood, when she dun have mood swing... when she feel like helping u... haha... she's super nice de... ok la... on account of u helping mi edit the blog then i will treat u to a meal in future... eat for all u can... but dun burn my pocket oso hor... lata $$$ fly away i heart pain... haha... k... go rest early oso ba... take care... nitexx!!!!

big hug for ye ye once again for making my blog look nice and colourful... hehe... i nv claim any credits hor... all give u... cos i onli wan CASH i dun wan credits... WAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ah ma, write for u de...

2008-04-05T22:55:00.002+08:00

ah ma... tis post is write for u de wor... things can get veri out of hand if 2 person oso dun wan give in to each other de... so always no matter wat surely 1 side must give in 1st and let the matter rest...

after telling him how u feel then let him noe how u feel is gd enough le... the rest is up to him to let him do his own reflection... he shld noe that who's at fault and who's not... since u alrdy tell him that's how u feel abt the incident... then its now up t him to think if its realli his fault for the neglience and his carelessness... k...

dun need to say abt it anymore de... once is enough le... if he noe how to think and he realli care then he will surely put in more effort in the future de... and maybe the issue jus slipped his mind and he forgot abt it lo... nvm de la... jus a small incident... dun put it in ya heart k...

sometimes when we have alot of things in life that we will forgot and slip our mind... mistakes sometimes can be amend in time but some mistakes cannot... so since the mistake oso happened le then jus let the other party noe how u feel and once is enough le... cos we oso cannot go back in time to correct the mistake so jus let the other party noe how u feel and they shld then do some reflections and not make the same mistake in future anymore... wat's impt is to let them noe how u feel and how u think... dun run away from problems and troubles... running away is not a solution for anything... k...

ah ma dun angry le k... must have a big heart to forgive and forget... dun put a small thing like this in ur heart... plan in future to go overseas tgt again lo... k... take care... :P

kanna nag abt driving license...

2008-04-05T10:02:00.003+08:00

my poly family members

aiyo last nite and tis morning kanna nag abt taking of my driving license... haix... no say i dun wan take la... i promise le i surely will get it done b4 i ORD... i got my plans de... no worries...

ytd dad nag at mi abt it... then tis morning is aunt... aiyo... sms the mr dragon then maybe next week go book the test date le lo... waiting for mr dragon's reply... think he slping... ya...

oso dunno wat to say le... when got things to say then add posts again... today is jus another sian day ba... :(

emo emo...

2008-04-04T23:48:00.004+08:00

dunno y leh... jus a bit sad maybe cos maybe it will be the last time i meeting the gals for tis yr... and maybe cos others things happened oso ba... nvm... think abt things for our future... must wedding dinner be hold during marriage??? y??? y cannot dun hold wedding dinner??? y must ppl look at $$$ so impt-ly??? haix...

my dream gal and mi... but onli a one-sided thingy...

in camp wor...

2008-04-03T15:39:00.002+08:00

haha... nw in camp wor... finally can come online to update my blog. then next time stay in oso can update my blog for others to read le lo... hehe... nice leh my camp...

anyway today oso a bit free la.. so got time to use the comp to update my blog, sometimes dam busy then suay lo.. at nite then can update lo... hehe... jus now in the noon wen to store to collect some items that i have intended long long long long long ago... then super heavy lo... then heng got my fren to help mi... at least not so heavy now... ya...

anyway tml goin out wif frens again lo... haha... leave again... dun care abt camp... go back oso sian... hehe... go out play play then eat eat wif u gals again lo... surely de... some more got BBQ... HOHOHOHO... everyday eat eat eat play play play...fun sia... ok...

i go home tonight then update again... now go back work 1st... if not others will scold mi le... take care...

2008-04-03T00:34:00.001+08:00

HoMe SWEET hOmE...

2008-04-02T23:19:00.001+08:00

haha... back home... home is still the best... at least got my own bed and lap top to use... can update tis blog... can chat to the gals... can talk and stay up late in the nite...
anyway tis 3 days realised something... she and mi got alot of different in the way of how we wan to lead our life after marriage...

HER DREAM:
1) wedding dinner at grand hotel
2) small house
3) 2 person world
4) find a RICH guy

MY DREAM:
1) jus a simple buffet
2) spend more money on honeymoon holiday
3) big flat to stay with my dad
4) i am not RICH

alot more things but i cannot recall at tis moment... later think of any then update again... anyway onli until tis week then i realised that actually we got so much of difference in the way of how we wan to get married and how we wan to lead our life after marriage... the type of life u wan i surely cannot afford... i am not rich, not handsome, dun even have a gd future until nw... even if i can afford i oso won't wan to spend the money treating ppl to wedding dinners... cos the couple themselves dun even have the time to eat the gd food... they r so busy goin ard to drink to entertain others... wat for spend the money and get urself so busy??? i rather spend the money to go on a great,nice honeymoon and let the trip stay as the best momeries in our lifes...
then another thing is abt staying with my dad... tis is a thing that i will not give up... i will surely stay wif my dad no matter wat happens unless he is no longer ard on tis earth... since i'm 3 yrs old, my dad had not stopped working jus to support mi for my studies and the family. single parent family who understand the pain and hardship that my dad had suffer for the past 20 plus yrs... how can i jus leave him alone after he suffer so much for mi??? how can i abandon him after all the hardship he gone through to bring mi up to tis point of time??? no matter wat my dad is still the most important person in my life... he is the best dad on earth i believe... so caring, so nice to mi, nv scolded mi,shower mi wif love and care... not even once he left mi alone in the dark... help mi out of troubles unlimited times... everything he done for mi, i can nv repay him for my life...so giving him everything i have in future is the onli way i can repay him...

jus nw wen out to eat and celebrate CAR's birthday... haha... quite fun and the food we ate at vivo was oso nice... then was go eat ice cream... birthday gal treated us some more... so pai seh... haha... let birthday gal treat us... LOL... but it was a nice outing oso... talk alot and oso see kai yi finally... she like MIA for 1000000000000000000000 yrs... lol... then today get a chance to chat wif her lo... ya... she oso passed mi the present she got for mi from japan... ya... another present... hehe... then chat wif every1... had a fun and happy time wif them always...
then took a few photos wif car and others... hehe... pretty gal leh... of course must take... then happy times always dun stay long... so still got to say gd bye to them... anyway friday we are goin out again... must enjoy wif u gal when u gals r still free... if not later all become SN then no1 is free alrdy...
when goin home i guess as much some1 called her then she got a bit of mood change lo... haha... but she dun wan say i oso dun wan ask la... she wan say will say herself de... then kai yi and suyi keep asking mi questions abt her,her ex-bf and mi... aiyo...

1) ask mi if i'm happy to see the 2 of them broke up...
ans: ok lo... not much feeling cos i alrdy noe they are goin to break up...

2) ask mi if i will go after her once again...
ans: i will if i have a chance...

then wen home talk to her on phone... told her that suyi asked mi those questions... she oso guessed correctly that i'm ok wif her broke up... but when i asked her that question 2... i asked for her answer... the answer that her heart feels...

haix... sadded once again... i ask her if i will be able to get her back in future... the answer she wan is NO... but the answer i wan is YES... nth much to say le lo... if that's the answer she wan i oso will respect her la... nth much i can do oso... sadded, sian, no hope sia... but still nth much i can do...

nite my readers... dun read till so late le... bad for health...

HaPpY dAy...

2008-03-30T21:37:00.002+08:00

LOL... today is sunday and like we had planned long ago... the gals(Elsa,Carmen and Winnie) and mi wen out to drink coffee at COFFEE BEAN at town... haha... not bad sia... cos actually they wanteed go STARBUCKS but then after all they still follow my suggestion and we had a gossip session at COFFEE BEAN...
aiyo... 1stly must thx ye ye for treating mi the drink... cos she's late for 9 mins... so she gt to treat mi to shut my big mouth from scolding her... haha... gain something out of nth... haha... then sa sa was LATE... gd ar... last nite online that time still ask us dun be late then she late herself... but woodlands raining quite heavily so forgive her la... i oso veri reasonable de... haha... cos she bought mi the fish... wa... nice wor... some more something more impt... the fish no bones de... can eat eat eat without thinking... haha... i'm lazy to pick out the bones ma... ya... then car wan to buy her clothing for guad day... so go walk walk lo...
wen to far east to walk and shop... try here and thr but nv got wat she wanted... then lata wen to DFS... the things inside DFS super ex de lo... the money to buy 1 thing, i can use as my allowance for 2 months... or maybe 3 months... super super ex... haha... but i oso nv buy i go walk walk onli ma... haha... then sat on e sofa for 10 secs... haha... all cos of them... cannot sit any longer... cos they wan continue to shop le... yuppies... but still have a great time shopping wif those gals... hehe...
then talk to ye ye... although we haven talk for the past 3 days but everytime when we meet up... no matter how long we haven talk to each other... at least to mi, i surely have a close feeling with her... its like we have always been that close ba... ya... then chat and chat then realise something... actually the ye ye and her BF "BOOM" le... if dun talk i oso dunno... but i still respect her decision and oso dun wan to disturb her as she still need alot of energy to deal wif the 2 of them... and she oso make it clear to mi b4 that she wants to stay alone and single 1st... so i respect it... said nth abt 2 of us... but the closeness feeling is still there... think if i nw go and fan her abt we 2 then she will onli have more headaches... dun wan la... i oso jus wan her to lead a happy life... dun like to cause problems and troubles for her... cos she dun have gd problems solving skills... haha... LOL...
then wen to eat dinner at... ummm... forgot shop name le... HAHA... sori la... i veri forgetful de... haha... then eat hamburger steak... while the 3 gals ate salom pepper fried rice... ya.... nt bad... quite nice oso... haha... then share food with every1 and ate their share oso... haha... then after dinner all go home le lo... sa sa oso told mi her experience abt the bangala molesting her... nvm... if next time i ard then i will help u bash the bangala up... dare to touch my ah ma he nv doe b4... but next time must be more careful k... dun let others eat ya tofu...
anyway wed goin c them again le... car celebrating her B'd ma... so go eat again... dunno them ar... all eat so much but all not fat leh... think inside their stomach got big worms eating up their food as well... haha... ok...
take care ppl and have an early nitex!!!! happy today... haha... tml goin back camp le... so must wait for another week b4 i update again ba... or maybe if in camp i got chance then i will update lo... yuppies... take care... enjoy ya next week...

another day...

2008-03-29T21:02:00.002+08:00

today is jus yet another sat but something special abt it was that i spent my 3/4 day at my aunt hse... cos my mum staying thr ma... so i wen to acc her from 8am till 8 plus in the night lo... jus reach home...
anyway wen to visit and acc my mum in the morning then talked to her quite alot... talked abt everything... my future... her future... family... everything... then noon time she tired le so she wen to slp then i oso fell aslp in the living rm... then woke up at 2pm to cook for her... ate our lunch tgt... nth much to eat though but still can at least fill my stomach for a few hrs... ya...
aunt came home after fetching her daughter to let the doctors c her... then she iron her clothings while we talked to her daugther lo... ya.... then later mum wen to bath then i wen up to her son's rm to use the comp... must work ma... so wen to use it till uncle came... uncle came at 5pm... then aunt goin off for a concert le... so ate dinner wif her children and came back home...
nth much happened though... a boring day i had and i hope u have enjoyed ya day....

take care... dunno if my "ah ma"'s FTT got passed anot... anyway ppl out thr pls pray for my mum and hope she recovers fast and stay healthy....

friday nite...

2008-03-28T22:11:00.002+08:00

u guys think i so forgetful meh??? nv update my blog... no la... cos i starting to stay in camp from monday to friday like i said and ytd was thurs ma... so stay in camp then nv use comp so cannot update my blog lo...
was planning of quitting playing comp game like STUPID maple and some other RPG games... viwawa still ok though cos it doesn't take up so much time... anyway today jus booked out then took bus home... then wen to visit mum at relative hse... she's still sometimes in great pain... esp during the change of dressing... but hope she will have the determination to carry on and pull through tis time rd...
mum's wound was quite a big 1... though cannot realli c the full size of the wound but can tell that its minimumly my palm size... and it will surely take quite a long while b4 it can b fully healed and recovered... but nvm... time is all she needs and she can rest well nw as we can surely cope well wif the family chores when she's not ard... doin hse work is not easy but we surely can cope wif it de... no worries mum... wish u speedy recovery...
abt us... if u noe who i am talking abt... we nv talk for 3 days le... and its counting on... maybe she realli mean it once again to call mi once every month and we shalll go back to the old life we used to live... its nth bad talking to some1 once a minth cos maybe like that then u will have more things to talk abt... but all the promise that we made to each other will all be forgotten... all the things we vow to do for each other will be forgotten... everything will be forgotten...
tis sunday will be meeting e gals out for a drink and surely they will go somewhere to shop... but still ok... cos goin out wif them always got gd food to eat de... they surely can find gd food to eat... then i oso can eat... anyway 2nd april is car's BD... she oso asking every1 out fora dinner... hope i can make it... though i am not sure if i can... but quite high chances i can la... yuppies...
ok... oso nth much le... jus wan say tml i will be goin to accompany my mum the whole day and won't be at home... so maybe tml late nite then will update bloggy again...
take care ppl... earning money maybe important... but health is always a more important issue... talk to my reader tml nite again... nitex!!!

1000 yrs...

2008-03-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

its has been 1000 yrs ago when i 1st started to blog... haha... a bit too long nv update le la... but since no 1 ever came to take a look at tis blog so i oso "bo xin" update ma... haha... ok from nw on i will update de... promise... but i goin to stay in camp from tml onwards le... every monday to friday i will not come home anymore... cos family alot things happened... mum wen hospital for operation... then dad made up his mind to be on leave from his work... guess that he will be changing job soon... i oso dun wan him to work that stressfully at his age le la... to think abt it changing of a job for him is oso not a bad idea... hope he will be more relaxed after changing job...
but changing of job = lesser $$ earned... then i will not spend so much on those useless stuff le... won't spend on transport so much... jus save everything up and try to help as much as i can... hope things will be alright once i get out of NS and start working outside... haix... why some ppl born wif golden sppon the their mouth can jus sit back and enjoy life while ppl must work till their last breath... its jus so unfair... but wat else i can say?? work and hope to get rich 1 day ba...
nth much oso... quite emo for tis few days... dunno la... alot things always come into my life tgt at 1 shot... sian 3/4 de... always like that de... they are problems some more not like is gd thingy that i won't mind la... haix... almost drained out all my energy since last wk mum wen into hospital... thx god that she had gone for the operation and is nw on the way of receovering... ppl outside there pls pray for her and wish her speedy recovery... dun worry abt the family... we can take care of ourselves de... mum get well soon...

1st posting for u to c...

2007-10-15T18:13:00.000+08:00

halo.... 1st posting for mi on tis blog... maybe in the future will type more abt others things la... but anyway today is still not a bad day cos i got my 3SGT rank in ARMY... haha.... and i stay as instructor in the cam and oso can relax.... while my other frens go to 3guards... some where every 1 dun wan to go to... in the future when i got time then i change the format of the blog to a nicer one... now rushing back to camp le... haha... anyway tis blog onli u noe lo... so onli got 1 reader... haha... maybe u can help mi spread ard to let others oso can come and c my blog lo... haha... got time then tag again... now go c got wat i can do to change my blo nicer a bit... haha... take care...